Why Won't This Weight Come Off?
If you’ve ever tried to lose weight, you know how hard it is. For the first few days – heck, even the first few hours – all you can do is focus on the foods you’re not allowed to have. You may not have liked potato chips, or ice cream, or pasta before, but you sure like these things now that you can’t have them.
Many weight loss experts suggest that it’s not about dieting but making a “lifestyle change.” But what does that mean, exactly?
Consuming healthy foods, with a balance of lean proteins, fruits, vegetables and grains is usually suggested, as is adopting some sort of exercise program, to burn calories and increase energy. According to the American Medical Association, these steps reduce the probability of health problems like obesity, diabetes, heart disease and stroke.
If you’ve ever tried either of these steps, you know they work. But they’re very hard to keep up. After all, we all have stressful days, which make us feel compelled to eat more carbohydrates and fats. There is a biological reason behind this, since carbohydrates give us fast jolts of “emergency” energy, and fats provide back-up energy for our blood sugar. It leaves us in a never-ending cycle of deprivation and stress, and most often, results in weight gain, or not being able to lose weight at all.
So why won’t the weight you’re carrying come off?
Have you ever wondered why many of us strive to connect our bodies and spirits – at yoga class, in church, or through some other means – only in order to chuck that out the window as soon as the latest fad diet comes along? Surely, we’re smarter than that. But as a nation, we spent nearly $38 billion on diet related books and products last year, and the National Institute of Health Statistics reports that, in 2003:
• 65% of U.S. citizens tried some form of weight loss or weight control.
• 49% attempted to lose at least five pounds.
• 16% attempted to maintain their weight.
Only 20% of these people were “very” or “extremely” successful, though. Why?
One reason is that we leave out the emotional component of our lives, conveniently forgetting that we are more than just the sum of our body parts. According to leading psychologists, there are several emotion-based reasons for a person to put on or carry extra weight, including:
1. Stress, at home or on the job.
2. Deprivation. Usually emotional deprivation, love, affection or attention.
3. Lack of emotional reflection and validation, especially in their early lives.
4. Pain, and the desire to distance themselves from others for protection.
5. Powerlessness, and the desire to wield power through increasing their size.
6. Inability to handle unrealistic levels of duty or responsibility, especially while young.
7. Increased levels of unprocessed anger or frustration.
8. Flimsy or nonexistent boundaries.
9. Erosion of the self, or feelings of invisibility.
10. Loneliness and/or grief.
We can’t expect to safely and effectively lose weight (and keep it off) by changing our diet alone. We may temporarily lose water, which is reflected as weight loss on the scale. We may even lose enough to go down a size or two, then find that we can’t realistically engage in a program of self-starvation much longer.
Instead, a holistic approach is clearly needed.
One of the first things to be sacrificed when we go on a diet is our senses. Almost immediately, we divorce our minds from our bodies, and with this goes our ability to see, hear, touch, smell and most of all, taste. Instead of reveling in what our food actually tastes like, we begin to rely on our memories, which tell us that those potato chips really were the best thing in the world. This is where the concept of “comfort foods” comes in. We remember that sense of being comforted, which has nothing to do with the food itself, or its role in nurturing us.
When we work with our minds and bodies together, however, we find that we gain the ability to separate the part of us that remembers the biological changes (and temporary feelings of wellbeing) that foods like potato chips bring, and the reality that these foods will not bring us the long-term results of other, more nutritional, choices.
When we do this, mindful eating is not just an abstract idea. It can, rather simply, become reality. Food tastes better, it’s easier to make smart choices (even under stress), and we can more readily accept where we are weight-wise.
When we add to that a personal storytelling practice, we can develop a way of reflecting and valuing ourselves as well. We underline the fact that we exist, in a world that may not be able to see us as overweight people. We cultivate a living witness to our existence, in the form of our notebook. And we have the ability, suddenly, to rewrite the story of our lives.
Our stories have the power to transform our lives in many ways. They help us to deal with our pain, and get a handle on emotional issues beneath weight issues. When we know ourselves deeply, we’re more motivated to make changes. We can cultivate the love that may have been denied to us at other times. And we create reverence for our bodies, and no longer want to hurt them by making unhealthy choices.
So why won’t the weight come off?
Because you haven’t recognized your holistic self – as a person with a mind, body and heart, working together to keep you healthy and happy.
All of these areas need to be addressed simultaneously, in order to enjoy the success you deserve. But please know this: all of the power rests in your hands.